Chapter 2 “Before me there was…”

Kim is the one who taught me to hug, as that was how she first introduced herself to me, and every time I saw her after that there were always hugs. She taught me that a hug wasn’t so much about wrapping your arms around one another, but embracing someone with your whole heart and that’s why today, they mean so much to me. Sam faded away and as I saw her less and less, she taught me that some times the fear of losing someone is too heavy, so she’d rather end it slowly and over time; doing her best to forget me and the pain, knowing that she was the one who caused it, instead of something out of her control having a deciding factory in how our friendship would play out. Megan taught me that seeing your best friend hurting, hurt. She saw me at my lowest, but it wasn’t until later that I realized that when I hurt, she hurt too. Katy taught me that laughing obnoxiously loud was more than okay because being happy, and finding the joy in the little things was what kept her going, and I now try and do the same. Caitlin taught me to dream bigger than the Texas sky as she would explain in great detail her lengthy but extraordinary goals she’d hoped to achieve. Megan B. was there when I couldn’t climb that rope ladder. As I watched everyone else do it, standing there defeated, she told me the story of how even though she couldn’t go on that mission trip, she so badly wanted to, and was willing to give up everything to, therefore I learned to be willing, even if I wasn’t able. Being a triplet, and closest to my sister, Spencer taught me the pain that comes with separation, and to enjoy the time spent together. During church camp, summer of ’11, Cassie taught me that a brilliant friendship could be formed within just a few days as we got to know one another and bonded quickly, she remains to be a very dear friend. Grandma taught me how to be a best friend, as I think back on all those summer days spent at her house treating me as such; Granddad taught me the strength it took to help raise four girls and eleven grandchildren, which he did remarkably well. Last summer when I was in Tennessee with no parents but loads of family, Chanel taught me to be prepared for anything as those summer nights held such potential. When Jordan would climb as high as he could go in that grand old Magnolia tree, he taught me to be adventurous and to never be scared. That day no one was home but Tucker and his friends, they taunted me once again, and as I drew that sword I didn’t know I’d later learn a greater lesson than one I could ever teach those boys. He taught me that it wasn’t okay to draw that sword but crying about it didn’t mean I was weak.  Dad taught me the weight of tears as I’ve only every seen or heard about him crying four times and Mom taught me how to be a woman because her example spoke volumes. Skyler struggled to find out that beauty isn’t always on the outside and in her struggle, I’ve learned the same. Tanner fought school tooth and nail, and only held on by a thread. He showed me that working hard, is hard, but that it pays off. Aunt Toya taught me to praise Him for the little things, like not running out of gas, or time to admire the sunrise, and praise Him in the storm as she had many in her life, but she always seemed to be filled with joy. Brittney taught me to write; she told me that I was the Comma Commander and showed me the passion I had for the words I chose to use. As care free as she was you’d think that a new generation of hippies was rising up, Rhett taught me how to be care free too. Emily’s struggle with taking a breath to stay, taught me how to have strength even when you’re dealt a blow to the head; Katie taught me the importance of persevering, even when you run into a chain link fence. The founder of To Write Love On Her Arms, a nonprofit geared towards helping people who struggle with addiction, self injury and depression, Jamie Tworkowski, taught me the importance and power of words, hope, and community. Caitlin was the one who taught me that everything could be a grand adventure, as she always tells me goodnight she includes what great experience we’re going to partake in next and to sing with all that you are because nothing is more beautiful than the way we would always come together, singing our hearts out, even if we’re out of tune. Walt Disney taught me how to tell stories as he was the master of them, with all of his books and movies, and that never growing up was okay too, Peter Pan being the prime example. Mr. Magorium taught me the magic of imagination and showed me it could take you anywhere, and Mahoney taught me the beauty behind music as she played the piano like Mozart. Bri taught me how dark days could get but hoping in the sunrise was what made them just a little bit lighter. You wouldn’t know it if she made dinner for you, but my Aunt Tandy would confess that cooking isn’t particularly her favorite thing to do, but she learned young that everyone enjoys her cooking, she’s good at it, and if it makes others happy, she’ll compromise her own enjoyment. She taught me true hospitality and how to serve others. Aunt Terri works with an abortion hot line and she taught me the importance of life. When Spencer made a joke and started laughing, right after she had just cried her eyes out over a dumb boy, she taught me how to smile through the tears. When I found out that she wasn’t related to me, I almost cried; that moment taught me that you don’t have to be related by blood, to be family, LaLa will always be more than just my moms best friend, she’ll be my aunt. All of these people have taught me things I’d never want to learn from anyone else, and they’ve helped shape me and mold me into who I am today.