Lonely, Not Alone // Alone, Not Lonely

Christmas time and the New Year can be a reminder of what is missing. Of what is not anymore.
If that is the case for anyone reading this, then I hope this serves as a reminder.
I'll be reminding myself as this reminds you too.

You'd think that twins, triplets, or any multiples would be as thick as thieves and inseparable. And to an extent, that is true for me. 

Yet, spending the majority of my 20 years side by side with my sister and brother, I can still feel lonely. 

We continue to feel alone. 

We still feel like separate islands. 

We are not islands even though waters can put distance between us. 

I do think this feeling of aloneness is one that is not unique to you or I. 

As humans we all fight the wars waging inside of us. And a lot of the time, that is fighting the lie that we are alone and separated from the ones that love us and from the ones that we love. 

Though you may not have an abundance of friends and family that understand what you are going through, or what you are dealing with, you don't have to feel alone because we are still here. Living this with you even when we don't know what "this" is. 

My family is still my family, even when I feel most disconnected from them. 

They still love me even when I don't understand what I'm walking through. 

Love will conquer loneliness.

Love from family. Love of self. 

I could ask you what you love and you'd list off movies and music and books and coffee and your friends and family and I learned tonight to wonder when you'd list yourself as what you love. 

Sometimes, I think this disconnect between myself and the world around me turns into this loneliness that I carry. And maybe that is a result of the lack of love that I should feel for myself. 

We are, after all, made of dust. Therefore, let us love the world around us, and we might find things that we love about ourselves. 

What if we started loving ourselves a little more. 

Would we become comfortable with being alone and knowing that being alone doesn't have to mean being lonely. 

If only I could give you the love I have for you. 

Replace the emptiness with a warm heart that feels like it's getting hugged, and a soft smile. 

If only you could give me the love you have for me. 

Replace the emptiness with a sense of comfort and security. 

We are not islands, though we may live on them. 

We are family, even if we're just friends.